110 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart
by WingedShadowhunter
Summary: During game of truth or dare Chris makes the mistake of choosing dare when his mini-me Prue is the one daring him. Now he, his girlfriend, and his brother are stuck in a Walmart until they complete and videotape all 110 items on her list of 110 ways to get kicked out of Walmart. Wyatt should have known that there was no way he'd make it through the weekend without getting arrested.
1. Chapter 1

Note: This is a story that I wrote about 12,000 words for during nanowrimo before I changed to a different Charmed fanfiction that I am still working on and hoping to have completed and posted by July. I want it to be as close to perfect as I can get it. Now back to this fic, it is not meant to be serious or thought provoking. It's just for a good laugh and I had a lot of fun writing it so I figured I might as well post it for you to read. Nothing major or dramatic will be happening; just a lot of stupid, funny, and borderline illegal stuff. Yes Melinda and Bianca are in this fic and yes, Bianca and Chris are the same age. Please don't leave a review complaining about their existence and/or ages. Please enjoy and leave me a review to let me know what you think! Also, if you have any good ideas on ways they can try to get kicked out of Walmart I would appreciate you helping me out because I don't have 110 yet.

Chapter One-

"Okay Chris, truth or dare?" Prue asked, a grin on her face and a glint in her eyes that meant one thing and one thing only. She had an amazing dare.

Chris, never being one to pass up on a challenge, was happy to accept. "Okay, Prue, I'll let you have this one, _dare_." He grinned, Prue's dares were usually more funny than embarrassing and they were always good for a couple hundred thousand views on YouTube. Wyatt was never going to live down his Miley Cyrus impression. Seriously, who the hell _twerked _anymore.

"Glad you chose that Chris," She smiled as she stood up from the circle of truth or dare players gathered on the floor of the attic. You would think that eventually, the adults would come to the conclusion that leaving Wyatt and Chris in charge of their little sister and six cousins would end every single time with something earthier burnt down, blown up, or destroyed. Also, someone occasionally banned from a park or store. Or an entire mall (Only _once_). There was also one time that Chris got arrested, but they don't speak of that event anymore.

Prue walked over to her overnight bag that was lying on top of a pile of seven other bags, one belonging to each cousin, and one belonging to Chris's girlfriend Bianca who wasn't exactly supposed to be there, but the adults wouldn't be back from New York for another week and a half. No harm no foul, right? Prue dug through her bag for a minute before making a noise of achievement and pulling out a folder. Wyatt and Bianca shot Chris dirty looks. Chris could imagine that they were thinking something like, _You Idiot! Someone is going to get arrested. _Again. _Look what you did now._

She stood up, walked back over to the circle, and sat down. She handed Chris the folder. "Inside that folder is a list of 110 ways to get kicked out of Walmart. You have to do them all, and you can't leave until you do."

Chris flipped through the papers. There were literally 110 things on the list. They were numbered and single spaced. "And you two," She gestured at Wyatt and Bianca, "Have to stay with him the whole time, help him do the stuff, and film each other so we can put it on YouTube."

"Are you really going to make us spend, like, an entire week in a Walmart?" Wyatt asked, his eyes wide, "What if we do get kicked out?"

Prue smiled, "Yeah, I am. Consider it revenge for the super glue incident last month." She cast a glare at Chris, though it was lost on him as he continued to read the list in front of him.

"This is amazing." He declared, "I can't wait. When can I start?" He laughed, looking at the next page. "I am _so _going to get arrested…"

*CHARMED*

"Okay," Bianca sighed as she followed her boyfriend and his brother into the parking lot of a Walmart supercenter somewhere in Florida. They sure as hell weren't going to risk getting recognized by a worker the next time one of their parents dragged them into that hell hole of a store. All three of them had backpacks that contained a hundred dollars, some snacks, a few extra batteries for the camera, and a list of the one hundred and ten things they had to achieve.

She was pretty sure she'd seen Chris stash a few condoms in his. Boys will be boys.

Chris had been grinning like a mad man for the past hour, he was actually excided to do all of these things, and Bianca had to admit, after reading the list, she was more than a little excited about a few of them.

Wyatt however was not feeling the same level of enthusiasm. He was going to get in the most trouble for this when they got busted, and they would get busted eventually, because he was the oldest. Not to mention the fact that he was about to spend his entire fall break inside a god dammed Walmart with his little brother, hell in a _My Chemical Romance _t-shirt and old scuffed up converse, and his brothers girlfriend.

Though he did have to admit, the list did look fun and he had no doubt that with Chris behind it, everything would escalate and end in an absolutely hilarious way.

Chris bounced from heal to heal, the exact definition of anxious energy as he waited for Bianca to set up the camera. This time they were clipping it onto her shirt, after using just a _tad _bit of magic the camera was concealed and they were good to go. As they walked across the parking lot, Wyatt put his hand on Chris's shoulder. "Calm down bro, you're going to get us kicked out before we make it through the doors." Chris nodded.

They made it past the girl scouts, the bell ringer, through the doors and past the greeter without incident and then walked purposefully to the auto department, where there were the least amount of people. Wyatt dug out his checklist. "The first one is…" He trailed off as a smile formed on his lips. Yeah, this was totally going to be worth it.

*CHARMED*

Chris and Bianca each grabbed a cart and headed to the aisle full of condoms, lube, and cheap sex toys. Once there, with completely straight faces, they began go fill both the carts, up to the brim with every scandalous thing they could find. One woman who appeared to be in her early twenties, winked at Chris when he grabbed a few boxes of the largest size condom and dumped them into his cart. He chuckled at her and winked right back, earning a slap on the arm from his girlfriend.

The older woman flushed and rushed out of the isle. A few moments later, Wyatt walked over to them with a basket full of lacy lingerie and dropped equal amounts of both of it into both carts.

"Really Wyatt?" Chris asked as he examined the scraps of fabric in front of him, "Do you have a fetish for women in blue?"

The older of the brothers rolled his eyes. "Would you please shut up and stash the carts in inappropriate places so we can rob young children of their innocence?"

"Sounds great to me!" Chris exclaimed as he and Bianca took off down the aisle, pushing the carts.

When they arrived in the toy aisle, which was thankfully deserted, Bianca discarded her cart then a few moments later Chris left his unattended in the also deserted 'Children's movie' section. As an afterthought, he added a few cans of whipped cream that someone had conveniently left in the five dollar bin, just as Wyatt walked up with a few things that Chris really had no idea they sold at Walmart, and then dropped them onto the pile overflowing from the cart.

Chris narrowed his eyes at him, "How the _hell_ did you know they sold those here?" He asked. Wyatt grinned.

"I asked the _very _nice sales lady." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "She gave me her number."

Chris rolled his eyes. Only his brother could manage to pick up chicks in a Walmart whilst asking for directions to the floggers, paddles, blindfolds, and handcuffs. "Oh," Bianca whispered as she grabbed Chris's sleeve and pulled him around the corner into another aisle, "Someone's coming." Wyatt quickly followed and the three of them peaked through the holes in the metal panels to watch what was about to happen.

All three of them clamped their hands over their mouths when an old lady walked into the aisle with a little girl who couldn't have been any more than five years old. At first, the old woman didn't see the cart or more likely notice what was inside of it.

That only lasted about as long as it took for the little girl sneak over to the cart while the woman was struggling to read the synopsis on the back of a curious George movie. The little red head pulled a box of condoms through the bars of the carts, she then cast a look at her grandmother before silently prying the box open.

The three teenagers hiding on the other side of the paneling watched in mild horror as the girl clumsily ripped open a metallic package and pulled out the condom, "Look grandma! I found a cart full of these cool balloons!"

Wyatt, Chris, and Bianca had to clamp their hands tighter over their mouths to stop their laughter from escaping as their shoulders shook and a tear slid down Bianca's face from the act of suppressing laughter.

The grandmother spun around and looked at her granddaughter with wide eyes. It made the whole situation funnier when they saw the large gold crucifix hanging on a chain around the grey haired lady's neck. "Lucy Campbell! Put that down, right this instant!" She hissed quietly. The little girl looked mildly offended at her grandmother's reaction.

"But I want to blow it!" She yelled. The old lady's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head.

"You most certainly do not young lady!" She grabbed her granddaughter's wrist and pulled the protesting child out of the aisle, curious George movie still in hand.

The three teenagers finally burst out into quiet laughter as they stood up and discreetly made their way across the store, putting as much distance between themselves and that cart as possible. "That was amazing!" Chris said through his laughter when he could finally articulate coherent words again. "I thought that lady was going to have a stroke!"

"Did you see her necklace?" Bianca asked through her fits of laughter. Chris and Wyatt nodded, laughing even harder at the memory.

"Oh my God," Chris said quietly, "I'm going to pull a muscle. Not from some deviant sex act or a demon attack, but from laughing at a little girl opening a condom! Oh my God, that is so fucked up!" He exclaimed when he realized just how messed up that actually sounded.

Wyatt wrinkled his nose, "I don't want to hear anything about your 'deviant sex'."

That just made them all laugh harder.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Thank you for all of the positive feedback! I'm hoping to get a chapter of this story uploaded every day but I can't promise anything. There will be at least one new chapter a week though. I would now like to respond to the guest reviewers. I am in the process of rewriting New Beginnings and trust me, this version will be a lot better but I am also working on the other fanfiction that I mentioned in my last authors note on that story and I am writing this one. I don't want to start posting either of those until they are completed and edited. Unfortunately, Chris and Bianca will not be the paring in that story. I don't see the Chris I wrote in that fic ending up with Bianca. They just wouldn't work. It will eventually be Chris/OFC but romance really isn't the center of the story, it's kind of a side element. I am still writing a lot of Chris/Bianca though, I just haven't edited it yet.

To the other reviewer, I appreciate that you thought the story was funny but I would like to say that yes, Melinda will be in my other fic. I wanted it to be as close to the real characters as possible and beside the fact that I gave Chris one extra power, it is. According to the official Charmed Wikipedia and the official continuation of the series in comic book form Chris and Wyatt have a little sister named Melinda. As for Bianca's age, I know there is a five year difference but I'm not comfortable writing a couple with a five year age gap. Especially when they're under the age of 18.

Now I'll shut up so you can read the next chapter. Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought because when I see a new review it makes my day. If I haven't responded to your review yet, I will sometime soon if you left me a user name. :-)

Chapter two-

"Do you think they'll actually do them all?" Patience asked her oldest sister when a commercial came on TV. Patience was only seven years old, the youngest of all the Halliwells, but she was old enough to know that Wyatt and Chris would get into a _lot _of trouble if their mommies found out about this. Prue would probably get into a lot of trouble to.

Prue smiled as she turned to look at her younger sister, "Of course they will, when have you ever known Chris to _not _complete a dare?"

"Dare?" D.J. asked, "When have you ever known him to pass up anything even sort of resembling a challenge?" D.J was one of Wyatt and Chris's best friends ever since they were little kids. He was half manticore, a fact that Chris had used to his advantage when Piper and Leo found out he'd been hanging out with a Phoenix in his spare time. D.J. was 17 years old, like Wyatt, and was the polar opposite of the brothers. He liked to avoid confrontation and danger at all cost, and still wasn't quite sure how he'd been roped into babysitting seven young Halliwells for the next week.

It almost scared him how easily the brothers could trick him into doing something.

"You have a point," Melinda said from the couch as she scrolled through her twitter feed on her phone, "That boy is going to give mom and dad grey hairs before they hit fifty."

"I though he already did that when how got arrested-…" D.J started but Henry Jr. cut him off.

"Dude," He pointed at the only other boy in the room, "We don't speak of that anymore." He paused. "Like _ever_, under _any _circumstance."

D.J. shook his head and rolled his eyes, he'd known the Halliwells his whole life and he didn't think he would ever truly understand them.

*CHARMED*

"Okay," Chris exclaimed, clapping his hands together with a grin on his face, "What's number two on that wonderful list?"

Wyatt pulled a pen out of his backpack and drew a check mark beside number one, then looked down at number two. Chris looked over his shoulder and his crooked grin quickly became a full blown smile. "This I gonna be amazing, isn't this going to be amazing, Wyatt?"

"This is going to be amazing," Wyatt agreed.

"Glad you think so," Chris walked back around to stand beside his girlfriend, "Because, in case you didn't notice, it's _your _turn to do one."

God damn it. Wyatt thought, he'd walked right into that one. "Why can't you do this one? You don't have an embarrassed bone in your body!"

"Because," Chris explained, suppressed laughter clear in his voice, "I am a sadistic bastard and I love watching you embarrass make a fool of yourself."

"Bianca, are you really going to let him make me do this?" Wyatt asked her in disbelief.

She thought about it for a second. "You know what, yes, I am."

"This isn't fair, "Wyatt muttered as he turned and walked out of the aisle, in search of the women's underwear department.

*CHARMED*

Chris and Bianca sat up residence in the purse aisle, which was directly across from the bras. They both watched in pure amusement as Wyatt slowly walked through the racks, he already had a light flush high in his cheeks. Bianca wrapped her hand around Chris's arm, digging her nails into the scarred flesh of his bicep to keep from busting out laughing and ruining the whole thing. Chris was biting the inside of his cheek to keep the smile off of his face.

There were actually quite a few women in the aisle, roaming around the racks, examining labels. They all looked up at Wyatt when he walked past them, his head down, eyes angled at the floor. They all continued to stare at him out of the corner of their eyes as he walked over to a rack and began to riffle through the selection of lacy undergarments.

"Can I help you young man?" One middle aged lady asked, she was good looking for an old woman, she had shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes, she was also pretty short so she only came up to about Wyatt's chest.

Wyatt, still blushing, turned to look at the woman, bra in hand, it looked to be the biggest one on that rack. "Yes ma'am, do you think this is too big for me?" he held it up in front of his chest with a completely straight face.

The woman blinked a few times, her eyebrows rose up her forehead, "Excuse me?" She asked, clearly confused.

"Oh, well, I guess you wouldn't know." Wyatt trailed off, attempting to force the blush to stop spreading over his face, he studied the bra for a second and then lifted his arms, attempting to pull the garment over his head. He got about as far as his broad shoulders before it got stuck. It wouldn't budge. At all.

He was standing in the middle of the women's underwear section and he had a bra stuck on his head. He could honestly say, he had _never _in his life imagined he would end up in this situation. Ever. God damn it Chris. "I think this might be a little too small," He guessed, looking at the woman who was now standing open mouthed in front of him.

By this point, everyone in the aisle was attempting to suppress their laughter at the sight in front of them. It probably wasn't that often you saw a 5'11, broad shouldered, jock get stuck in a bra in the women's department at Walmart. This was definitely a story that they would be tweeting about.

He vaguely heard the sound of a smart phone camera clicking as he rushed out of the aisle with his arms still stuck above his head, across the walkway and past his brother and Bianca, who were both laughing. Traitors.

After a moment, Chris and Bianca both turned and followed him, when they tracked him down, he was leaning against the dressing rooms, bra still stuck on his head and arms still trapped. Chris pulled out his Samsung Galaxy S12 and snapped a picture earning a very irritated glare from his older brother.

"You are _so _going to delate that, Christopher Perry." He said, his voice low and threatening. Chris laughed.

"I am _so _not, Wyatt Matthew," He pocketed his phone, "Besides, I believe that you are the one who is stuck in a bra with no use of your hands, what exactly are you going to do to me?"

Wyatt narrowed his eyes at his younger brother, "I will turn you into a toad if you don't help me out of this right now."

"Bianca will kiss me and turn me in a prince," Chris looked at Bianca, a smile on his face, "Right babe?"

She shook her head, "Chris, I love you, but I am _not _kissing a toad." Wyatt laughed.

"Fine," Chris huffed, "Make your boyfriend hang out as a wart inducing toad for the rest of the week until my mom gets home and reverses whatever spell this big lug botched," He gestured at his brother who simply rolled his eyes, "And then grounds him for the rest of his childhood for turning his sweet, innocent, baby brother into a filthy reptile."

Wyatt huffed, "Sweet?" at the same time Bianca rolled her eyes, "Innocent?"

"Would one of you _please_ take the bra off my head?" Wyatt asked, his voice sounding more like a wine than anything else. Bianca laughed as she pulled him away from the wall and reached up to unclip the undergarment. Wyatt pulled it off with a sigh as he stretched out his arms. "Thank you."

"Seriously," Chris said, laughing, "That was funny as hell."

Bianca smiled as she unzipped her backpack and pulled out her list, she grabbed a pen and marked numbers one and two off the list, "It was. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life."

"You guys are both jerks," Wyatt grumbled, "You have to do the next one, I need time to recover my mental health after that."


End file.
